Last year I decided to write a holiday letter on the blog. I had fun doing it, so I am doing it again, only different. Here are excerpts from my journal. Enjoy my chaos!
Hooray my new journal! I bought this journal in hopes that I would be on a cruise ship in Hawaii. But alas, I start this journal in my parents basement...Haiti was struck by a huge earthquake 1/12/10. The death count is up to 50k..Awesome news about Esther: she is probably delivering at a birthing suite rather than the hospital. I am selfishly delighted. I have never helped with a birth at a birthing suite. I feel it is more appropriate for them anyway...-I know one thing for certain, I have been blessed with friends-GOOD friends. I wish to be a better friend...I went (alone) to see Avatar. Oh my! I absolutely loved it... Last night, I fell upon a new discovery, Melissa is logged on to Netflix on mom's computer. What does this mean? It means that I watched Motorcycle Diaries last night.
Aubrey and I went up to the Sundance Film Festival we had the perfect day. I didn't go up to see any films, I went up to go to cafe music.... Last Sunday 1.24.10, Esther had her baby, Eve Satareh Vasefi. I am not sure on the middle name spelling, but it means Esther in Farsi. I was there for the birth. It was the most beautiful and fantastic experience...I am reading a book called Ask and It is Given by Ester and Jerry Hicks. It's about the law of attraction- mostly about the law of allowing. It is hard to allow blessings and goodness into my life....I had a small conflict whether or not to go to the V-day party. I opted out because I was tired after work, didn't wear deodorant, and my hair looked greasy. I regretted not going because I want to be more social.
This past weekend, Feb. 27 thru today I have been traveling...Oak Creek canyon takes you down the mountainside. Then comes the beautiful city of Sedona. I was in awe. The homes, the vortexes, the red rock, the forests, and the colors. I saw all the colors and knew I had entered a special place...It was nearly dark the lighting and temperature were perfect. We went into the canyon and spent time listening to silence and reminding ourselves that we are peace. It had recently rained and the air was crisp and clean. We loved being alone together and with ourselves. Sometimes the best therapy is a nature walk.
Here I am sitting naked in my parent's basement doing laundry at 11:30 p.m., four days until my 25th birthday...My birthday celebrations this week have been unreal. Palm reader, massages, new hair, night on the town with Heather, and family celebrations on Sunday...Wed was the full moon. I was anticipating the birth with the moon in mind...Her breathe slowed and her face changed. The world started spinning again and the next push Violet was here!
Here I am in San Antonio, TX. I thought I would never make it... Becky is my oldest friend. We know each other so well...Acupressure points to induce labor: ...How to put a woman into full labor: ...We extended, or rather bought a new plane ticket home. I am now leaving on June 8th.... Becky finally had Hazel. She was born at 11:56 a.m. on the 28th after 85 hours of ACTIVE HARD labor.The nurses were generally nice. Kate by far was our favorite. There was an untouchable gentleness about her...We had to be each other's strength. We can all remember times when we lost it.
I am home now and back into my old familiar routine. Since being home, I want to cry at least twice everyday...I got some new music from Ashley today: Jack Johnson's new album and Florence and the Machine. There's nothing like new music to get me jazzed. I also made my first purchase from Amazon.com I bought Sophie Uliano's newest book.
Something cool happened yesterday. I was working on Scott and he asked me to read his energy. So I turned on the Reiki... I believe I am blessed with the gift of healing-at least to some degree....
I am starting to feel doubt creep into my soul. Jesus and God help me through. Where did the magic go?....
It's amazing how moods can change. I am in a really good spot in my life...Baby James is here! It is amazing to know the nature of a baby when he/she arrives. We all knew James was happy, calm, lovable, and beautiful.
I drove the Nebo loop today- which I've never done before. I did it for a few reasons: to experience the weather shift and to finish the Birth of Venus (book on cd). To me, it was a book about revolutions and liberations and the consequences thereafter. I was totally drawn to it. I've been experiencing my own revolutions...Recently my eyes are changing. I see control, fear, and additional teachings.
I went to Cheryl's house today. I was very surprised, grateful, and saddened by my visit. She did something very unique, she started the session with a prayer. The prayer was unlike any prayer I have ever heard, very sincere and personal...I miss having grandparents. I wish GJ were here. She would make it feel better.
I had another session with Cheryl today. I am certainly glad that I went to see her. I am going to give myself credit. I am brave. It is scary to go to someone and find out your past and sort through the details.
The challenge of life is overcoming your human nature. God judges us according to who we are and not what we do. Understanding this distinction brings me to another realization: Who you are are vs what you do: For example, a man can steal a penny and another man 10k. It's not the amount that matters to God, both men stole. What is in their hearts to make them steal?
I massaged a man last Saturday and he read my character. He said: 'You are kind, compassionate, and you love what you do because you love helping people. Many people may not view you as smart, but you are very smart and you are also wise which is an unusual combination. You are very forgiving- except right now there is someone in your life who you want to ring their neck. You have many friends who love you. You are a good listener. The best compliment is for someone to call you a lady.' That is all I remember. He was eloquent in speech. I misjudged him at first. I guess everyone taps into the pool of consciousness...I went outside around 2 a.m. and it was silent except for the herd of deer across the street...The wind was strong today-it's blowing in something big...Huge snowstorm. I went out around 12 a.m. to see the silence that a good snow cover brings. I made snow angels, and a heart on the side yard. I was 5 again.
5 days ago