I feel like a mom most of time partly because I am a second mother to Heather's children and partly because it is in my nature to mother everyone. So there is a topic that is sort of taboo I want to post about: How long do you breast feed your children? Do you bf until the baby weens himself/herself off? What if the baby still wants to bf when he/she is a toddler on up? Is it okay to bf a toddler? What is best for the child? What about tandem nursing? Is there actually harm in bf-ing a toddler? Public breast feeding? etc etc... And because we have breasts, we have opinions so please don't be shy. (if your opinions are private then please share some insight in the subject or links to info)
13 comments:
What brought this question on? I think you already know my feelings on this topic, but here you go...
I breastfeed until my kids wean themselves. Both have weaned around a year old (11.5 and 13.5 months). Had they not weaned themselves, I probably would have cut them off around 18 months. It would just be too weird for me to breastfeed a toddler...and all the looks from others...I don't think I could handle them. ;)
But hey, to each her own.
Thank you for sharing and teaching me how to spell wean :) What if no one was looking?...
Well, to be honest, I've never breast fed.. so I don't feel qualified to leave my opinion :). But I do have a story.. one time I was walking through walmart during the winter time and there was a girl carrying a baby. She had on a spaghetti strap tank top and was nursing her kid with NO cover just walking through walmart..! People are so interesting!
I think that 12 months is enough.. I think that when they can tell you that they want it from you that is enough. If other people wnat to longer thats ok, thats just how I feel. I sad to say didnt make it that far with either one of my kids but it is my goal to make it at least 10 months this time around.. Wish me luck.. BTW I LOVE the picture..
I love the picture too.
You already know pretty much how I feel, but here goes. I believe in child-led weaning. In my case, that means I am currently tandem nursing a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The benefits to nursing a toddler are numerous - other have explained it much better than I could in a comment:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
http://llli.org/NB/NBextended.html
I've always firmly believed that the pressure to wean earlier is cultural and not based on anything scientific or psychological, and being here in the Philippines has certainly proved that out for me. I LOVE being in a place where my breasts are not seen as primarily sexual, but as primarily for my children's nourishment and comfort.
As for nursing in public, I am all for it. I think more women would succeed at breastfeeding if our (American) culture didn't make breastfeeding in public such an issue. I do it everywhere here, without thinking about it. I did it in the US too.
However, when we go back to the US, if my older child is still nursing, I will probably not nurse her in public, unless she was hurt or sick. The reason for that is that is not because I think it is inappropriate, but because it would break her little heart to hear negative commentary from some stranger on something that clearly means so much to her.
I don't think child led weaning is for everybody. I think every mother should do what is best for her and her child. I DO think that more education and knowledge about the benefits of extended breastfeeding (which I'd rather call full-term breastfeeding), combined with the understanding that our culture informs the "distaste" we seem to have for toddlers doing what they were biologically designed to do, I believe that would result in more mothers being able to do child led weaning if they wanted to. I know a lot of American mothers who are "closet" toddler breastfeeding, and many who regret having weaned their children due to the social pressure to do so.
**modified to add - to those who would say it is akin to abuse - I would really encourage you to do the research, by starting with the links above. There is no basis in biology, psychology, or any factual study of life to support this conclusion. As I mentioned earlier, the "distaste" for toddler breastfeeding is informed by culture and not by facts. I doubt anyone would conclude that Mary abused (or anything remotely like it) Jesus, yet according to standard practice at that time, we can safely assume Jesus was a breastfed toddler.
Love the topic! I bf Owen until he was 13 months, when I found out I was pregnant! I really think it depends on the mother...whatever they feel is best for their child. I know people who breastfeed until 3-4 and some who only breastfeed for a few months and both children turned out fine! I don't like that people put a limit on it, because I think it's up to the mama!
This is a little overboard though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxv6R9fUO74
Kinda weird!
Great topic Stace! You know how to get people to leave comments on your blog! :) I breast fed Adelle until she was 18 months and that felt about right to me. I did have to wean her but it wasn't difficult for either of us. I felt like that meant it was the right time. I have no problem with breastfeeding longer though. I could tell most women thought I was a little crazy breastfeeding that long. It definitely is a cultural thing in the US. I say do it as long as you want! (Within reason of course.) Before I was a breastfeeding mother I thought it was uncomfortable for women to be breastfeeding in public...but no longer! I have NO problem with it now! It's a pain standing in a bathroom stall nursing because there's no where else to nurse that is "acceptable." Thanks for bringing up the topic!
I forgot to say--last night I had a dream I was nursing a puppy. Now THAT was weird! I wouldn't recommend it! :)
Stacie- All I have to say is I'm in the minority and I'm so sorry if I have offended anyone. I did add an extra word that was probably a bit of an exageration, sorry. We are all different individuals and I believe we all do what we feel is best for our families. I do know that in the American culture people do get offended in public breast feeding. I think as long as you are covered you have nothing wrong with what you are doing. I have breastfed many times in public but I do think its important to keep myself modest. I'm just so grateful my body was able to provide for my little ones because I strongly feel breast is best. But I know my body also needs nourishment especially when it's carrying another child in the womb so I don't see how others keep going. It truly is a sacrifice but also a blessing. It all really depends on your culture, no way is necessarily right or wrong. I don't feel completely comfortable watching the national geographic shows where the cultural men & women walk around nude. Am I wrong for that? I don't think so. It's their culture they are used to that, I'm not.
I think next time I will stay out of the controversial topics. And this is one that I wish I didn't get into. But I think its funny. It's totally you Stacie! You like the drama!
Just for the record, I'm not offended. :)
Even so, I think it's great that The Olsons came back to clarify. Thanks for doing that.
I like to offer information because I think that additional knowledge helps us not only in our own choices, but helps us to be more supportive of others choices as well.
Empowering women is so important, as Stacie has previously alluded to on this blog. I think a huge part of empowerment is knowledge.
You are awesome Stacie! Kudos to you for providing a forum to talk about subjects like these.
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